You can make employees give you cooperation until your back is turned by threatening them .You can make a child do what you want it to do by a whip or a threat . But these crude methods have sharply undesirable repercussions. The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.
The deepest urge in human nature is ''the desire to be important''. It's the craving to be appreciated. If our ancestors had not had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would be been impossible. Without it, we should have just about like animals. This desire makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest cars and talk about your brilliant children. Even sometimes people become invalids in-order to win sympathy and attention and get a feeling of importance.
We nourish the bodies of children, employees and friends, but how seldom do we nourish their self esteem? We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years.
The difference between appreciation and flattery is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out, the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish, the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.
Reference:
'How to Win Friends and Influence People' for Dale Carnegie
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