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Listen more than you speak:
It is easy for parents to take on the role of the lecturer in family communication settings. This can make your kids feel talked at rather than communicated with. Communication is a two way street. It is important that every member of the family has her say. Practice looking at the speaker in the eye, nodding and asking questions at appropriate times to convey your interest in the conversation. Practice paraphrasing what you heard and repeating it back to the speaker to enhance the clarity and overall understanding of the message. Avoid interrupting the speaker.
Ask open ended questions:
Yes or no questions often shut down family communication before it has a chance to being. For example, when you ask your child 'Did you have a good day at school', a quick 'yes' or 'no' can end the exchange. If you instead say: 'Tell me about your day', you open the topic up for full discussions. Do not accept one word answers, like 'fine' and 'ok'
Value honesty and respect:
Sometimes your kids will say things that you do not want to hear. Likewise, they'll often disagree with the things you say, This is normal and does not have to equal conflict. Practice speaking in a calm voice, using relaxed body language and being receptive to what you hear. Yelling. name calling, accusations and communications that always focus on problems and punishments are not respectful and do not solve family problems. Always be honest with your children about how you feel and what is happening in the family expect their honesty as well. It is easier for family members to be honest when they feel their opinions and feelings are respectful and will net with kindness and consideration.
Talk about feelings:
Use the ways you communicate with your children as a chance to help them understand and express their feelings. Use phrases like 'When you .... I feel ...... because....'. Instead of saying 'You will always make us late' say 'when you do not get up on time, I feel stressed and anxious because we have to rush our morning routine'. This gets all the family members expressing how they feel in honest and direct ways and creates an environment where everyone is safe to express feelings. Use 'I' statements whenever possible, rather than 'you' statements to help find solutions, rather than place blame.
Reference: www.livestrong.com
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